Us (2016)

I was sitting in the classroom looking at the spot where you used to be. Letting you go wasn't easy. It is hard, it is sad and it is heart tearing. I imagined how is life going to be if we are still us. I tried hard to understand you without you telling me a word. I tried to be someone who you cant let go. But I failed.That night when I received the text from my friend asking what happened to us and I know we are totally over. I remembered that night well. I was in car heading home after tuition. I was thinking about why you stopped texting me after our quarrel last two weeks ago. My phone notification rang. It was a text from my friend, with the screenshot of the photo of you and her that you just posted with a long text which basically saying you're taken. My brain went blank. I was not sad, I don't feel like crying either. I was emotionless that moment.We may never started a real relationship, but I do cherish the time in between. You may not take it seriously but I do. When I started to put down my shield, you left. Without any notice. I told myself, yes, you should let him go. I went to bed after that, thinking about nothing. I didn't noticed that I was crying until my tears drop on my hands. I was helpless that moment. I didn't know how to face you the next morning. But I met you in the canteen, looking into your eyes for that 2 seconds and I turned my face away. I couldn't let my tears burst out again. I started to hide from you. I started to use the longer path to reach my classroom just to not pass through your class. I started to tell myself to let go. The journey of letting go was hard. I could barely smile and at least i tried to when you were there. I could even memorized every single lines of those Mandarin heartbreaking love songs. When i was almost success to let you go, I heard a shocking news from someone telling me that you had hurt your knees in the game. I was blank. I locked myself up in the toilet and started crying while asking more information about you through all the ways I could. I kept praying. I hope you were fine. Soon, i saw you in school. I was outside my classroom taking my stationery for the exams and I saw you walking with a clutch from the hall to your classroom. I was so afraid that I couldn't control myself, so I immediately walked in to my classroom. I tried to keep myself busy and concentrate on my papers so I would stop worrying abut you. But i cant, you kept appeared in my mind. I remember the second time we started to talk was when I texted you through Snapchat to wish you good luck on your next check up on your injuries. We started to talk a bit more. And I saw you in my tuition when I was buying some snacks in the office. I heard that you two have broke up. I told myself to not fall back again, but I was such a lousy girl who cant even control. And those feelings came back and grew deeper again. And soon, you move on to another girl suddenly like what you did before. I couldn't say anything but only putting the blame on myself for falling too easily. 2016, was the year where all these happened. It was a tough year but it help me to grow a lot. I wasn't regret to have this story in my life and I will make it a story to remember. When you graduated, I know things will be easier. I can stop meeting you everyday which helps a lot in letting you go. Thanks for all the memory you have created and make it a 2016 to be remeber. Trust me, the next time I saw you, I wouldn't be turning away and hide to cry but to say HI.